How is it possible to carry on while being this overwhelmingly exhausted.

Yet, here I am. Awake.

SO many projects in this house and I'm getting there. But it's not near the end yet.
I'm sanding and bogging and sanding and bogging the flat bathroom, which now has two new walls. Still need to tile the kickboard, the wall and the top of the shower wall. But first I have to paint the primer so the tile adhesive sticks.

I'm sanding and gapping the trim around the window. I'm sanding back the kitchenette bench, so the sink has been lifted.
I still need to clean, and sand and bog until it's fine. Then clean up the dust. Tile. Clean again. Paint. Put the shelves next to the sink. Find a mirror that looks nice. Replace the toilet tank. Paint the window trim. Seal the kitchenette bench. Sand. Seal again. Replace the sink. Seal. Hope it works.
But wait. There's more.
The rumpus room still leaks. The cleaner used a gurney to clean the front porch (which still has mold, so she didn't clean all of it) and found dry rot. The walls need to be sealed again. So I'll gap around the windows and seals. And I'll need to paint.

Plus the turf. I've spent over $300 on new grass in the last month. Now that looks fantastic. Pat on my own back thankyouverymuch. Yeah!

Meanwhile I'm balancing dinners and laundry and house and kids. I have no more food in the house and must, MUST go grocery shopping tomorrow. Thank goodness we're on school holidays so I can actually try to get things done.

So, let's work out a priority list here.
Granny flat:
*bedroom window and corner
*seal the kitchenette bench
*sand and bog bathroom wall
*prepare to tile

And time to wash and wax the car again. Nearly oil change time.

To bring this full around,
I'm sick.

That's it. Time for bed.
Goodnight, world.

An Apology

Something pretty phenomenal happened today.

Josh and I have been friends since we were 12 or so. Met in middle school. Can't even remember meeting him, but we've always been friends. He dated my best friend. We were in band together. And then after we hit our 20s, I even agreed to be his arm candy for the Marine Ball. It's a good friendship.

And he sent me a message the other day over Facebook.
Just to chat. Just to catch up. No big deal.
Missed him last night, but I've been knackered and going to bed early anyway.

Today, he sends a message.
This has left me feeling so... wholesome. I can't even remember what he's talking about, but how marvellous it is to get a genuine, meaningful message like this one.

Sorry, I was drunk sleeping

There could have been an earthquake right next to me and I would have slept through it

12:43PM

Janette

Haha. Nice

Hey you know

I really just wanted to apologize

Janette

For sleeping? All forgiven

No no

I mean, I've been thinking

About when we were in high school

And I, at least once, really didn't treat you like a person

I treated you like an object, when I pulled your shirt down that time...might've been 16

And it was wrong

And I just wanted to make sure I told you that that event had an impact on me. Seeing that in had done wrong I mean

I'm still embarrassed about it, and I'm sorry

Janette

Whoa. Thanks. I don’t remember that happening, but I’m impressed that it has such a profound effect on you

Do you think all the media stuff is pushing people to reflect more?

DEFINITELY

I just...cant believe I convinced myself that it was okay to do

I'm really glad we're friends ya know

Janette

And here I can’t remember it at all. I mean, I remember similar things happening in high school, but from other people (and mostly college)

I've been told that.

Janette

So, cool.

Told what

I've been reflecting with some lady comics, and they all said that lots of guys have done that to them

So many they can't remember

But I remember

I'm sure there's worse guys, but that's not the point. I fucked up, and I'm just lucky you gave me a chance to learn from it

Janette

Oh man. I LOVE a genuine apology. You’re the best

Janette

And I’m glad we’re friends too. Thank you

Love ya janette

Janette

The Letter

Two years ago, I agreed to have my "story" published in a magazine.

And then I received a beautiful, handwritten letter in the mail. Quite unexpectedly. Along with a handful of pictures of me with my two smiling children. One was framed.

This letter was a gesture of support, to thank me for sharing. It was funny, light, genuine and kind. I was so grateful that someone, who I had met just that one time, was so affected by meeting me and felt the need to reach out.
It was such a nice feeling. This stranger thought I was inspiring. He called me "stoic". It was nice.

I wrote back months later. Thanking him for this picture. Helping me to realise that this beautiful family picture, this new family could still be beautiful. I'm hoping that my letter reply was more coherent.

Fast forward.

To Wednesday. And I get another beautiful, handwritten letter.
It made me cry. I'll upload it later, I think.